Therapy Intake; The First Step!

Therapy Intake; The First Step!

It has been a while since my previous blog was published, but I’m still alive and kicking 🙂

I thought why not do a blog about my therapy intake session because it’s something you don’t hear or read much about. What is it like to start with therapy and what went through my head?

To answer this, we have to rewind over a year back << There I am sitting in a chair a few weeks before the intake session while staring at the intake forms lying on the desk in front of me. Thoughts are going through my head “what if they can’t help me?”__”What if they think I’m a poser?”__ “What if?” That was roughly the thoughts going through my head, over and over again… And yes that’s the anxiety talking, EFT(Emotional Freedom Techniques) would have been handy right? Haha

My brain was like a war zone, two factions battling for the ‘blueprints’ in the middle. The idea that I was even thinking to share my deepest secrets with a stranger was absolutely out of the question! Afterall I learned from the past that it would be dangerous to trust people. Like entering a lion’s den. That might sound exaggerated, but that’s how it felt!

A few days before the intake, doubts, doubts and more doubts going through my head “Should I go or not go…” Until I decided to just go and see. I can always leave if it doesn’t feel right, although what if I’m not allowed to leave, and they have me committed to an asylum…

Only a few days remaining before the intake would take place and I was sooo anxious. My mind was all over the place, though what really helped me was to do something that distracted me from my anxious thoughts. That sounds logic, but at that time it was quite a challenge. Fortunately, I have an awesome job! So I was able to displace my thoughts quite well. And in some way it also made me feel more restful and positive. In those final days, I wasn’t really able to back out… I was finally doing it!

The night before the intake I was barely able to sleep. Sleeping is quite a challenge for me in general, but on that day it was more like ‘mission impossible.’ In the morning my anxiety was going through the roof… I felt like crap… Not only mentally but also physically, body and mind are one! I managed in some way to get back on my feet, and there I went..

The waiting room felt like waiting for the dentist, lucky me minus the drill sounds 🙂 Not long after I was called in and took a seat in one of the comfortable chairs. No there wasn’t a couch, which you often see in movies. The psychologist started to ask me questions, some open and some closed-ended. I shared stories that I never told anyone before. It felt strange and at certain moments almost surreal. It was the moment I could finally open the door with all the secrets hidden inside it. The therapist mentioned I was telling everything quite easily. When I looked back at the conversation later, it was more the lack of awareness; I didn’t fully realize it was my own story.

While the conversation was progressing, I started talking about the more heavy stuff, like the suicidal thoughts running through my head. The psychologist was quite amazed that I was still able to function that well. I was quiet for a second and had to realign myself, but I continued quickly after until the session was over. The psychologist said he would discuss it internally to determine what would be the best course of action for me.

I thanked the psychologist and left as fast as I could, Nah it wasn’t that bad haha. I was however very relieved, not only because the intake was done, but also because I was finally able to share my story, and no longer had to go through it alone!

Thank you for reading and if you find this blog interesting, please like and share on social media!! Also, don’t hesitate to leave a comment or contact me directly. 

Jeroen van Werkhoven

You can find me on Twitter | Instagram and Facebook

 

One Reply to “Therapy Intake; The First Step!”

  1. That was quite the story Jeroen. So inspiring, eye opening & captivating. I admire your courage & emotional strength. You did better than you thought with that therapist. I believe it was because you didnt have anything to lose & you felt like you was safe & wasn’t gonna be judged. I know that it’s been tough; but every great journey has those moments. But I feel like all of this is gonna take you to new & better heights. Like you said in that story; you aren’t alone. I’m with you & you have our friend Joanne videos to help you. Stay strong & even if we can’t talk much; know that I’m praying for you =)