The Real Me
Where do I start hmm.. I could say Hi I guess… So Hello internet and welcome to my blog 🙂
Let’s see “being invisible” what do I mean by that? Good question it was the first thing that popped into my head when I decided to start this blog. No, it’s not about a magician or some superhero ability.
It’s a very personal story about me and my long struggle with mental health. I didn’t tell anyone about this ever till very recently.
I’m 34, and it took me 20 years to pick up that phone and asked for help… IÂ actually emailed because I was too frightened to call. It’s quite funny because I call people all over the globe for work. But a simple call to a psychologist felt like climbing the Mount Everest. My brother gave me the last push I needed. He said: “Well if you have something with your body you go to a doctor right? So why don’t you go to a psychologist when you struggle with your brain?” That made me very aware that the stigma around mental health is still there. Why is it so strange for a lot of us to seek help when our brain decides to go the opposite direction? I can only talk for myself, but for me it was tough to accept that I can’t fix this on my own. I felt somehow weak, vulnerable and afraid to be judged by the world. Like I had a sign on my forehead saying “this guy goes to therapy and he is a crazy person” haha. The fact is nobody can see it.
I go to work, sleep, eat and enjoy life. Just go with the flow as we say. But inside I feel sometimes different like there’s another person inside me, that is very scared, isn’t happy and doesn’t want to be successful; An invisible person that intends to stay in bed all day and lives in a dark world without a future. All this might sound exaggerated, but that’s how it feels.
Frankly, I wasn’t sure about starting a blog around this heavy subject. I don’t want to victimize myself or give you the intention that I have a lot of self-pity because that’s not the case at all. But with so many stigmas surrounding mental health, it felt like the right choice to open up. Thank you for reading!
Jeroen van Werkhoven
8 Replies to “The Real Me”
I think you’re very brave Jeroen! I wish you all the best. I’m so happy that you’ve decided to share your story.
Thank you Kathy!
Wow! Such a remarkable start to your blog & story. I wanna applaud you for sharing such a personal, stressful, life changing event with the world. I know i tell you this often, but im very proud of you man. It takes a lot of strength & heart to do what you are doing. I thank you for opening up & sharing this with me. I think what’s going on with you mentally is something we all experience. I know for me, i have this inner child who needs nurturing. I just want you to know that God see the good you are doing & he is proud of you. He & your friends like me & Joanne will help you through this. Whenever you feel like you need someone to talk to; message me or leave me a comment. I’ll answer no matter what time it is. I look forward to future blog entries. You are on to something good! 😊🌟
Thank you Georgio!
Hi Jeroen. My name is Paula Tichenor. I have chronic anxiety and depression. People that don’t fight that battle just say “snap out of it”. If I could don’t they think I would??? It’s not a fun thing to take a handful of pills just so I can go to the store and not have an anxiety attack that feels like my heart is about to explode. A person with both anxiety and depression never feels “good enough”. Does that make sense?
Tell Skye hello. I love that young lady although we’ve never met!
And THANK YOU for the blog!
Hey Paula. Thank you! I’m glad you commented on this. I’m very sorry to hear you’re going through all this.. One of the reasons I started this blog is because of all the misleading assumptions about mental illness. Yes, that makes sense, I often feel like everyone else is better than me. I know deep down it’s not true but it takes time to change those thoughts. Will do when I see her 🙂
As the little brother who made you do this… oh dear
No, just kidding. I am and always have been very proud of my ‘big brother’ and all of your accomplishments. This just one more amazing thing to add to the list. Hopefully this blog helps you not to carry this burden alone anymore after 20 long years because no one should.
Haha, thank you little brother 🙂 I’m very proud of you too!